Atypical Trans Late Bloomer

Sept.23 is recognized as Bisexual Visibility Day, aka Celebrate Bisexuality Day. About ten years ago, when I was less aware than I am now, I heard about Bi Visibility Day and I thought, why do their bicycle lights need to be brighter than anybody else's? And I meant it. What a maroon. So, the flag has a myth and a practical story. The story goes: There's people that like girls (pink), there's people that like boys (blue), and there's people that like boys and girls (purple). And that's me, I'm the purple in the flag. What's interesting in the flag symbolism is that the Pink represents both men who like women and women who like women; the Blue represents both women who like men and men who like men. These curious alliances are groups that align according to their desires along the structure of the gender binary; you either like boys or girls, not both. Pick a column; no substitutions. We have come to call these friend...

I am reading more and more about transgender people and their transitioning. It's of interest to me for a few reasons. I've known a friend who did it, and there was a professor at grad school who transitioned. I've always felt that in any change, the before-state is usually sustainable, the after-state is usually sustainable, but it's the transition where all the chaos and pain happen. People who are adversely affected by a poorly managed change usually get hurt in the transition from before to after What I find remarkable is the significant pain and difficulty these people go through voluntarily. Nobody initiates or endures this process on a whim, whether they choose to dress and present differently, or choose a hormonal transition or even a complete surgical change. I think the plumbing doesn't matter. It seems to me the folx must be under great duress to embark on such an adventure of self-identification. And in pursuing self-identification, aren...

When I got out of the US Navy, everything I owned fit into two duffel bags and a cardboard box with a stereo in it, a tuner and turntable I'd bought in Singapore for $35 and I was convinced it was a great deal. Since then, as my storage capacity grew to include a four-bedroom house with a full basement and a shed, I've often considered that I'd like to get back to where all my stuff fits into two duffel bags. I'm getting closer lately. As i've mentioned before, I'm living in non-traditional housing. I don't have housing. For most of 2020 I've been staying with a friend in Manhattan. Sometimes, as situations change, I decamp to a sister's place on Long Island, or a sister's place in Brooklyn, or a sister's place in the Pocono's. Most things you read about homeless living, or non-traditional living, say you need a Stash - a place to leave most of your gear. I leave most of my gear in a friend's office. I have two big duffel ...

Yesterday (Monday, Aug31, 2020) I sat with a few people watching the evening news. PBS, of course, with Judy Woodruff as the sole survivor. It's a relatively thoughtful and non-sensational news show, opening with Top Stories of the day and then presenting a deeper dive into one or two of the main stories. I watched story after story of national unrest: stupidity, violence, manipulation, economic pain and leverage, natural disasters from the recent Southern hurricanes, President Trump about to visit a Wisconsin city that's asked him to stay away, a briefing from a scholar about armed gangs positioning as militias (and claiming 2nd Amendment status as an institution), people losing jobs and therefore health insurance during a pandemic, and just- shrugs at universe and event horizon - everything else. I realize I had dissociated and was not longer simply feeling like I was sitting in front of the tv, no longer felt that I was among the others, felt as if I had detac...