I am NOT fine.
Most people have seen the meme of a doggie drinking coffee in a cafe, asserting "This is fine" while the place burns all around them. So often I am that dog. Today I realized (again), I am not fine. I've been through a comfortable and non-agitated few months and things have been better for me, overall. I've had fun and I've felt joy which is no small matter. Today I realized: I am moving, I am moving forward, and: I'm not sure where I'm going, but I'm making better time. I realized today that not only has my life been performative, but my heterosexuality has been performative. It's not a new phrase, but it's the first time I've said it about me. I am making change. I like the changes I'm making. I'm a little nervous about it. I still have my depression. I'm still anxious. I'm presenting the "I am better" face to the world. Maybe it's the first time I've realized I've been performing in man...