Atypical Transgender Late Bloomer

There are women's voices I hear and I think, I might be able to sound like that and be happy with it. I have a few voices within me now. One is my default voice. I've lost most of my Brooklyn accent, even my NY accent, although it does appear at times. I am unable to say "saw horse" without invoking it. I have a professional radio voice from a career in aviation. I suppose I have an authority voice after spells in supervision and management. But I would dearly love to develop a femme voice. The first woman is Marcia Kramer , born 1948, of CBS NY. Another woman with a great voice is Miranda July , born 1974, who I came across recently on an NPR interview. The woman who I've always had a voice-crush on is Mary Louise Kelly , born 1971, of NPR.

I had a curious brush with suicide. I'd been quite suicidal in 2017, and then an experience with my friend TM pulled me out of that. I still think of it often and easily put it aside, and I would have said that I wasn't at risk for suicide any longer. I was in a marriage-therapy session and my spouse said somethings that I went off in response to. The state of where we left things was simply unacceptable to me, I couldn't tolerate the situation, and when we got out of the room and I was waiting in the common space for my spouse to use the bathroom, I said to myself (I heard the words in my head): "Well this is no good, I can't go on like this, time to kill myself" Walking out of the office suite I decided: end of the hall, staircast, throw myself down the stairs to the ground floor and that was my exact intention. Got to the top of the stairs, walked directly to the edge, and realized: there was no way between the landings and the layout that I was going ...