Relationships vs Change
One partner starts smoking when neither smoked. One partner stops drinking when they both drank quite a bit. One partner starts doing Ayahuasca retreats once a month, or monkish contemplative retreats, or becomes a Buddhist when they never had before. In each case, one partner makes a voluntary unilateral decision to change the status quo. I think lovers and families love the version of you they chose to accept at first, smoking and drinking etc, and if you change they tend to prefer you the way you were. I think families and relationships are challenged by change. They should rewrite the marriage vow: Will you love, honor, comfort them for better or worse... and they should add "... and not significantly change, till death do you part." People change, that's what they do. Of course, not all changes are category busters.
