Atypical Transgender Late Bloomer

Yesterday (Monday, Aug31, 2020) I sat with a few people watching the evening news. PBS, of course, with Judy Woodruff as the sole survivor. It's a relatively thoughtful and non-sensational news show, opening with Top Stories of the day and then presenting a deeper dive into one or two of the main stories. I watched story after story of national unrest: stupidity, violence, manipulation, economic pain and leverage, natural disasters from the recent Southern hurricanes, President Trump about to visit a Wisconsin city that's asked him to stay away, a briefing from a scholar about armed gangs positioning as militias (and claiming 2nd Amendment status as an institution), people losing jobs and therefore health insurance during a pandemic, and just- shrugs at universe and event horizon - everything else. I realize I had dissociated and was not longer simply feeling like I was sitting in front of the tv, no longer felt that I was among the others, felt as if I had detac...

From Sue Kerr, Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents we have a link to M. Molly Backes' tweet : I so get this and I appreciate Backes' explanation of it. I have Impossible Tasks. Usually I have one or maybe two Impossible Tasks. I just can't get started on them. If I'm somewhat forced to face them, I can procrastinate the day away. I enter them on my calendar. I slide them forward to the next day. Repeat. Currently my most egregious Impossible Task is the right and left directionals on the front of a Volvo. It's a 17-year old car and it looks it. It's a spare car that I'm not taking out on the roads, because the inspection is overdue. Because the right and left directional housings need to be replaced. Because the cable release for the front hood won't work. When I was in my 20's and not so afflicted by Impossible Tasks (and coincidentally, PTSD) this would have been something I took care of in an afternoon. Maybe a few days, if I needed to order...

I've been on SSRI anti-depressants for 25 years and continue to take them. I've been on SNRI anti-depressents for 1 year and continue to take them. I've been on a a benzodiazepine for almost 1 year and continuing. I've been on an anti-psycholtic for almost 1 year and continuing. I finally realized that I'm not dealing with a multi-issue phase ; I've been doing this for 25 years. I got rid of my guns in the last year, because I knew when I started hallucinating that it was prudent to not have them. You read newspaper stories and you think, why didn't somebody take the guns? My psychiatrist says I have major depression, anxiety, and mild psychosis (I hallucinate). My psychologist says I have C-PTSD from beatings and priest rape, and sexual orientation confusion. My doctor explains that I have anhedonia which robs pleasure from normal experiences. When we took a marriage angry-problem to our marriage counseling psychologist, he suggested the problem w...