Funny Thing: Dissociation and The Evening News

Yesterday (Monday, Aug31, 2020) I sat with a few people watching the evening news. PBS, of course, with Judy Woodruff as the sole survivor. It's a relatively thoughtful and non-sensational news show, opening with Top Stories of the day and then presenting a deeper dive into one or two of the main stories.

I watched story after story of national unrest: stupidity, violence, manipulation, economic pain and leverage, natural disasters from the recent Southern hurricanes, President Trump about to visit a Wisconsin city that's asked him to stay away, a briefing from a scholar about armed gangs positioning as militias (and claiming 2nd Amendment status as an institution), people losing jobs and therefore health insurance during a pandemic, and just- shrugs at universe and event horizon - everything else.

I realize I had dissociated and was not longer simply feeling like I was sitting in front of the tv, no longer felt that I was among the others, felt as if I had detached from all the stupid violence about us. I felt that something was awry in my experience so I excused myself and retired to my bed.

It was a funny experience. My therapist reminds me that I say "funny" about things that aren't funny, but instead are strange upon examination. I think this was the first time I was aware of dissociation while it was going on, the first time I recognized it in the moment rather than becoming aware of it because of a blank spot it my memory.

Otherwise my life is going pretty well. I'm often happy. I'm rarely low.