Danger in Early Pursuit of Late-Life Femme Presentation

I think there's a peverse danger in too-eagerly pursuing a femme presentation, expecially for the NIT (newbie in transition). Most women aren't high femme; many dress in ways that aren't very different from androgynois or male-expressing people. Think: t-shirt, dungarees, dark shoes, a Columbia or NorthFace jacket.

In my initial attempts at expressing myself, in trying to show the outside world what was going on inside of me, I swung into attempting moderate-femme: hair dye, facial cosmetics, lipstick, earrings, heels, stockings, skirts. It certainly signalled I was non-standard, but I'm not sure it was effective or good for me.

Now I've seen: that's not what most women my age are wearing. Most women my age are wearing some sort of hiking shoe like Merril; they're not wearing makeup; they do wear jeans and polos, windbreakers or wool coats. Certainly, they accessorize and present nuanced clues as to their gender identify, but they're not wearing CFM-Pumps and bright-red lipstick, and they're not baring major cleavage.

I think the early-onset, too-eager search for a femme presentation put me at risk of violence because it signals my own effort and calls the attention of the predator, the ugly enforcer of right norms.

I think when I swung to early moderate-femme I was a bit grotesque and trying too hard, and in doing so I think I made myself too visibile to those who would do me harm.